One of the things I love watching are astrology programmes on local cable television. This is because I am interested in the lives and fortunes of others, preferably strangers, since I know their fate is independent of mine.
I have no doubt that the astrologers and the psychics that I see on TV are genuine. As proof of their authenticity, they have a long list of degrees with impressive abbreviations, which we are told establish their authority in feng shui, numerology and astrology. This makes me trust them without question, in the same way that I trust people on LinkedIn who claim to be experts in machine learning, AI, blockchain, cloud computing and design thinking, all at once, by taking a look at their online certificates.
People call in to these programmes to the number that scrolls on the bottom of the screen. And then astrologers, with the air of the best management consultants, provide data driven solutions to their problems, by asking a few questions like when and at what time were you born and if you are unmarried and how many times you have failed BCom. Like any management consultant worth their salary, they are dressed for the part, in top of the line astrologer gear, and the number of buzzwords they spout per minute that make little sense to the uninitiated, will make even a partner in a management consultancy, one who has flown the globe first-class and drawn a salary that can feed a small nation, sit up and take notice.
The solutions provided by astrologers, very similar to the ones provided by top management consultants, usually revolve around asking you to engage the consultants for more consultation.
After all the last thing they want to do is to give you random, arbitrary predictions that won’t be of value. For them.
But even in the free call, these astrologers provide surprising insights and actionable strategies, stuff you would never even think of yourself: Like study harder, listen to your parents, wear a gemstone and get rid of middle management.
Some people who call themselves sceptics and rationalists say that nothing of this business is based on science, and the business model at play here is that of understanding insecurities of clients and monetising it through cold predictions, based on preformatted templates. I personally don’t agree with this harsh assessment of management consultants.
DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.
